You know how you hate those people who bounce up and down in their proverbial seats, waiting for Halloween to come and go so that they can begin celebrating the Christmas season? The ones who know that their Buddy-the-Elf-like holiday cheer makes most people want to shove mistletoe into a spot that would quickly land them on Santa’s naughty list?
I am that person. I am your worst Christmas nightmare. I will soon have Christmas carols blasting in my car each time I take off. Sorry, not sorry. I will fight to wait to get the tree up until the day after Thanksgiving. Merry friggin’ Christmas! And I will secretly plan Christmas lists for both myself and my giftees (as if I haven’t been doing this for months already) until each perfect present is perfectly wrapped up in a perfect bow beneath hundreds of twinkling Christmas lights.
Ok, so finish up with your dry heaving and hear me out. If you need a little holiday jump start, try a classic holiday tradition on for size. A Beef & Boards Christmas begins at 8 p.m. Nov. 25, and is full of the traditional carols and festive merriment that even the grouchiest Grinch can’t not tap their toes to.
For the Christmas lovers, you’ve got your elves, you’ve got Santa (<– I know him!) and you’ve got all the songs you forgot you knew until you’re singing them at the top of your lungs. For the Scrooges in the audience, there’s scantily clad dancing girls, a buffet, and a flying reindeer.
If you’re a hard sell on Christmas, you might be wondering why I included the flying reindeer on your side of the list. Picture a small table in a dark theatre populated by only myself and my grandmother. Got the image? Now add in a man in a reindeer suit who’s stuck hanging from his little roller track and can’t get back to his hidey hole so that the next act can begin. Suddenly, the reindeer moves, but not forward. He comes DOWN and nearly destroys that table at which I sit with my shocked Grandma.
Truly, I’m surprised the poor woman didn’t have a stroke.
If you can’t laugh at that, then you might not be the miser you think you are.
The buffet is always well-stocked, but – at Christmas – the theatre goes all out, typically offering beef, ham, and sometimes even turkey along with several sides, warm bread, and a full salad bar. Water, tea, and coffee are free, and cocktails and desserts are available at an extra charge. Parking is free.
This marks the 25th consecutive year for A Beef & Boards Christmas, so if you wish to catch the show or purchase tickets for the Christmas lovers in your life, remember that the production will be going on hiatus next year to make room for “Elf, the Musical.”
Beef & Boards is located at 9301 N. Michigan Rd. in Indianapolis. For more information, or to purchase tickets, visit the website at beefandboards.com.
Meanwhile, what’s your favorite color?