Have you ever tried rummaging through countless articles of clothing on a disorganized sales rack, trying to find the perfect outfit that transforms you into Heidi Klum? Some would argue that this is parallel to dating in the 21st century.
With online dating on the rise and social media having a profound impact on the lives of individuals across the globe, traditional dating has mostly gone by the wayside, and our expectations of love have changed.
What are the struggles of falling in love in the 21st century?
The Available Options
Dating now involves a much more selective process which is both a positive and negative aspect to dating in today’s society. We have access to billions of people via social media and dating apps. If we do not like who we are virtually corresponding with or even their profile picture– in the words of Jay Z, “on to the next one.” Not only is this attitude shallow and egocentric, but often does not allow us to get to know someone.
Loss of Traditional Values
Traditional values are of little importance today compared to the 1950s when going steady was something to be valued. However, love is still not given as freely as it was in the 1960s. The standards of how to behave on a date remain unclear for many millennials.
We have become a society that expects instant gratification. Love is anything but instant. Also, our pursuit of love does not always feel gratifying. Love is comprised of more than a two-hour fantasy as depicted in movies; it is ugly and it disappoints, and oh yes, and it takes a while to develop.
Dating Just Because
Dating for the sake of dating is also common. Although this kind of socializing can help us discover what we are not looking for, it often leads to a string of failed relationships and time wasted on the wrong people. We neglect to ask the important questions before choosing to invest in someone, leading to heartbreak and disappointment later.
Our Expectations of Love are Not Always Realistic
We are complex creatures that are molded by societal standards and fallacies about what love should be. The term “love” is often used loosely in the early stages of getting to know someone; however, love is a choice that we work on actively over a lifetime. Love is how many times we are willing to lift our partners up during the most strenuous of times, which is far from easy or fun.
Falling in love is a personal journey you take with a potential life partner. When investing in someone, give more than a “What’s up?” in a direct message on social media. Give them your time and delve into the heart of what makes that person a good life partner. Hold yourself, as well as who you go out with, to higher standards and proceed to build a foundation on respect and values.