(Do Not) Watch: Tory Lanez’s ‘DopeMan Go’

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For 30 seconds “DopeMan Go” is heavily cinematic and appeals to the part of me that loves pulp films and crime capers. From the top, the video lures you in with close shots, slow motion, timely editing and diagetic sound.

Unfortunately after that great intro the song kicks in and it’s terrible. The high, whiny auto tune of Tory Lanez crooning “Do you know the DopeMan? I need some more” made me pause the song; only then did I realize that the hook is not that different from the “Muffin Man” nursery rhyme.

After the initial shock of Lanez biting the Muffin Man’s bars, I started the song again and listened to the beat which was produced at Big Al’s Cheap-O Trap Factory where Trap beats are a dime for ten dozen! No need to listen to this particular Trap beat, you’ve heard it before. So maybe focus on the lyrics? No dice; they get worse. I refuse to quote them here, but basically Torey Lanez flies girls out from wherever and then he has sex with them because he’s cooler than you, more powerful and also drugs. Yes, drugs, aren’t they great?!

I lied, he has a lyric too bad to not be quoted, “I dropped out of school couldn’t pass the SATs/Now I got two bad bi***es passing me the weed.” Are you bored yet?

The introduction was so promising! Instead of giving the viewer a short film, as advertised, Lanez dances around in the dead grass of a public housing square and occasionally crouches on a roof. There are tons of shots of weed smoke and a few shots of people donning a rubber Donald Trump masks because that’s topical. Ugh.

The video and the song are a pass. Spend five minutes doing anything else.

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